I can buy myself flowers

“I can buy myself flowers…write my name in the sand… talk to myself for hours… say things you don’t understand…”

That song has ricocheted throughout my tik tok ‘for you’ page for months, and though I love Miley Cyrus, and LOVE the sentiment behind the song, it feels a little over familiar after hearing it every five seconds (+ the inevitable 5 hours of me humming it to myself that follows)

However, looking at those lyrics in black and white, the meaning behind those words really glow through.

“I can buy myself flowers…”

Where has that tradition of giving flowers (particularly to women) come from? Some scholars suggest it can be traced back all the way to the ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans. Kennedy Floral explains that “The Greeks used them as props for storytelling. They also made them into decoration for ceremonies. Later, they began exchanging flowers to show affection towards each other.” (kennedyfloral.com)

This exchange of flowers is still today seen as an act of courting, an expression of love. Flowers would be offered at temples, used for decorations, and used to communicate sentiments. They can mean I’m sorry, thank you, you’re a good friend, I miss you, I love you…

Perhaps there is something in the futility and fleeting nature of fresh flowers themselves, blooming and only lasting a few days before withering. Perhaps it is a way of telling the one you love, that despite the transient nature of this life- their beauty is worth seeing, even if it is only for a moment in the large scheme of things.

This reminds me of one of my favourite poems by Percy Shelley, The Question:

About him walking through a metaphorical wood, and witnessing the beauty and divinity of nature. In the last stanza he talks about how this makes him sad, because whilst he is walking, and looking at these beautiful flowers, if he picked one, he would have no one to give it to, to share it with.

“Methought that of these visionary flowers

I made a nosegay, bound in such a way

That the same hues, which in their natural bowers

Were mingled or opposed, the like array

Kept these imprisoned children of the Hours

Within my hand,—and then, elate and gay,

I hastened to the spot whence I had come,

That I might there present it!—Oh! to whom?”

This idea of not being able to share the joy and beauty of the flower with anyone is such a interesting image.

Flowers are a piece of nature, that remind us of beautiful things in an often time overcast world. The pop of colour in the corner of your room, propped messily in a vase or a jam jar- they remind us of beauty, and that there are things worth seeing.

So why does this exchange of flower giving have to be an exchange? Why do we rely on a boyfriend, a partner, an admirer? why must we rely on them choosing to share this beauty with us. Because as lovely as the sentiment is, those without men in their lives, seemingly end up with colourless rooms and empty vases.

My childhood was full of flowers, particularly Lilys (my mum’s name is Lillian), bought for herself by herself. She told me once she always remembered her mother doing the same, always having fresh flowers filling the house. My beautiful grandmother was deaf, and I often wonder whether she gained a greater appreciation for visually beautiful things after losing her hearing. Either way, I think this simple gesture of filling her house with flowers, was so much more than a purchase or exchange. It was a sign of her perseverance, her gentleness, kindness and beauty. A reminder that no matter what life throws at you, there are always beautiful things.

Flowers for me therefore have always represented womanhood, motherhood and family. My life is full of Lilys, none more beautiful than my mother, and I will always see flowers as a connection to her, and her to her mother.

So returning to Miley for a second, I propose, not only do we gladly receive flowers, but we must feel empowered enough to buy our own flowers simply because because we love ourselves, as much as others do.

Also, buy flowers for your boyfriend, for your best friend, for your husband, your son, your sister, mother, daughter, neighbour, parents, the list goes on!

but you must start by buying flowers for yourself.

Because we all deserve a little colour in our lives,

and we all deserve a little love.

Amelia Radford

| Tendered Feelings